Oh how the title of this post even makes me shudder. There is a reason that there are only four pictures with this post. We thought this vacation was over.
2:00 p.m.
We all headed to the Cabo airport and had about two hours to kill. There was nothing worth taking pictures of, let me assure you. We sat in a generic Sports Bar while the guys watched football and we decided that the food looked so unappetizing that the fast food choices of Subway, Burger King or Pizza Hut were a better way to go. That is sayin' something!
I opted for Subway at first until Kerith debated the quality of cold cuts in Mexico with me. I had already had pizza the day before so I decided a good ol' Whopper and fries would be a great way to end this vacation. I think this was the first time I had eaten at Burger King in probably, oh, about 25 years. And I am NOT exaggerating.
So, we all ate our YUMMY (gag) food and then boarded the plane.
4:45 p.m.
Rob and I were towards the front. Kerith & Brad were in the exit row a little ways back. Mike and Dasha were, unfortunately, at the very back of the plane. We all settled in and I remember CLEARLY that the pilot said it would be a "quick" two hours and 15 minutes back to the big D.
I quickly calculated that I could watch 3 episodes of Friday Night Lights on my computer during this time period and I plugged my headphones in and settled in for the last little bit of peace and quiet that I would have for the foreseeable future.
6:00 p.m.
Rob pulls out my earphone and tells me to shut down my computer. I was only a few minutes into my second FNL episode so I was very confused. He said the pilot had just come on and said that we were going to be landing soon and to put my stuff away. I then noticed that the girl in front of me was flipping out. She was SOBBING and rocking back and forth and the flight attendant quickly came to try to settle her down. It was then that I turned to Rob and asked for some clarification on what the pilot really said. He then further explained that we had some kind of oil leak in one of the plane's engines and they were going to have to shut that engine off and we were going to be making an EMERGENCY landing in El Paso. My heart almost stopped. Everyone around us was watching the girl in front of us as she continued to panic and cry and get increasingly upset.
My first thought was - STUPIDLY - how many engines does this plane have? Logically, I probably already knew the answer to that, but I just needed to clarify. Rob said, "Two." I asked him if he had ever been in this situation since he flies all the time and always seems to have some kind of plane maintenance issue or delayed flight at least every couple of weeks or so. "No," he said. Really talkative, as you can tell.
About that time the pilot came on and said that the engine had been shut down, but not to worry that these planes were meant to fly with one and we should be fine. He also added that there would be fire engines on the ground waiting for us as we landed in El Paso. .. "just in case".
Cut to the girl in front of me who is now about to need to be put in a straightjacket. Seriously. She is throwing up the window cover and looking out (you can't see anything because we are flying in the clouds) and then slamming it down. She is sobbing and doing the rocking back and forth thing. Her husband or boyfriend or significant other is obviously lacking in the ability to give her any support and is basically ignoring her. If that was her boyfriend then she needs to RUN and if it was her husband then she has bigger problems FO SHO!
Rob and I are holding hands and I have a death grip on him. He doesn't seem to mind which makes me even slightly more frantic inside because normally he would be lecturing me on how things were going to be fine. He was abnormally calm and this made me KNOW that he was a tad bit nervous and I had to really reign it in to not go into all out FREAK OUT mode like my friend in front of me.
The pilot said we would be landing in about 20 minutes so there was nothing left to do but stare out the window at the white clouds rushing by and wonder how close we were to the ground and what was going to happen.
I prayed without ceasing asking God to please watch over us as we landed and guide the pilot and let everything be OK. But, my mind also wandered uncontrollably as I prayed.
I kept thinking the following things:
SERIOUSLY - Did I just eat Burger King as my last meal?
Am I really meant to die in a plane crash?
Does Brad Leffler know how to open the emergency exit and he BETTER DARN WELL be reading that seat back pocket information JUST IN CASE.
Why oh why did I eat Burger King as my last meal?
That Capt. Sully landed that plane in WATER with no engines so surely this guy can land on flat ground in El Paso with one engine!
Can someone give the girl in front of us a sedative before she has a heart attack?
I am going to vomit up my Burger King!
And then the yahoo behind us decides to start throwing out his airplane knowledge and starts loud talking about how it is taking longer to land than they said because we are flying over Mexico and dumping our fuel "just in case" we have a hard landing so the plane won't explode. JUST the information that everyone around us wanted to be thinking about so thank you for that, Mr. Know It All.
It was seriously the LONGEST 30 minutes of my life. I hated that we were not closer to our friends so we could talk to each other (really I just wanted to see if anyone else was freaking out and if I had a reason to really panic). We finally came out of those clouds and could see the lights of El Paso so we knew we were getting close to the airport. We could also see that it was raining and/or snowing in El Paso so this added to the anticipation about the landing.
I continued to pray and pray and PRAY that Burger King wasn't my last meal and that God would not make a reason for Brad to be in charge of the emergency exit (not that I don't think he couldn't do it. . .I just didn't want to find out either way). We FINALLY landed and didn't need the fire trucks that were waiting for us. The whole plane burst into applause and we thought this nightmare was finally over.
But here's the thing. . .we were coming from Mexico so this was considered an "international" flight. Most international flights coming into Texas probably land in Dallas or Houston. . .but not El Paso. So, we had a problem. We had to clear customs and there were no customs agents on hand because it was now about 8:00 p.m. on a Sunday night. So, they told us to sit tight while they tried to figure things out.
So, we sat. And we sat. And we sat. And we sat some more. People were frantically trying to call and book rental cars because they were NOT about to get back on another plane after this situation. Others (Rob included) were trying to get through to American and see if we could get booked on another flight to DFW that would still get us back Sunday night. Sounds like a great plan, but to get on another flight they have to actually have to let you off the one you are on and unfortunately, that was not happening anytime soon. We continued to sit.
Someone around us mentioned that there was a new law that they can't keep you on the plane for longer than a certain amount of time or they will be fined and will incur other penalties. So, Rob googled it and found out that they have to give you food and water if you have been sitting there for 2 hours and if they don't then they get fined an astronomical amount per person. So, at one hour and 56 minutes (and I am not even kidding) the flight attendants come through the aisles with granola bars and cups of water.
At this point, people are mad. And not just a little mad, but A LOT mad. We have been sitting there waiting for over two hours with no updates and no one knows how they are getting home. Thank goodness we were only going to Dallas. A ton of people were going on to other places from DFW and it had already dawned on them that they had missed their connections and they would not be getting home that night. No bueno!
Finally, they said another plane was coming and would be arriving around 11:00 and would be taking us back to Dallas. But, we were still waiting on some customs agents to arrive so we could clear customs in El Paso and they could get us off the one engine plane, transfer all of our luggage and get us back on a safe airplane.
They finally got some agents and they took us off the plane and loaded us into a small room with a HUMONGOUS drug sniffing German Shepherd (lest this be not really a maintenance issue but a huge plot by Cabo San Lucas tourists to smuggle drugs back into the good ol' U.S. of A) and had us wait in a long line to talk to the Customs agents. Usually this is a quick process where they look at your passport and ask you a question or two and let you go through, but this obviously wasn't routine for anyone in El Paso so we had to answer a lengthy list of questions about who, what, where, when and why we were in Cabo and have our passport studied and we even saw some people who had to be fingerprinted. They were thorough to say the least!
Then we had to wait for EVERYONE on the plane to go through customs and then they sent out all of our luggage that had been rechecked and we had to get that and then be ushered out in groups of 15-20 through the terminal so we could RECHECK our bag with American and then come back through security to sit at the gate to board our new flight to DFW. Does that sound confusing?? Because it totally was.
But, wait. . .I forgot the KICKER of the whole fiasco. To make up for our pain and suffering and NEAR DEATH experience, American oh so kindly wanted to give us all food vouchers for the El Paso airport. There are about 3 restaurants there and guess what? They were all closed by 10:00 p.m. on a Sunday. But take a wild guess as to which establishment OH SO KINDLY agreed to open back up and give us all $12 vouchers for FREE food???
Any guesses?
Wait for it. . . wait for it. . .
BURGER FREAKING KING.
I am not even kidding.
So, now not only was Burger King not only my LAST meal, but it is going to be the FIRST meal of the rest of my life.
11:30 a.m.
We all pooled our vouchers and bought $60 worth of Burger King food (which is pretty much one of everything on the menu) for a Sunday night FEAST in El Paso.
2:00 p.m.
We all headed to the Cabo airport and had about two hours to kill. There was nothing worth taking pictures of, let me assure you. We sat in a generic Sports Bar while the guys watched football and we decided that the food looked so unappetizing that the fast food choices of Subway, Burger King or Pizza Hut were a better way to go. That is sayin' something!
I opted for Subway at first until Kerith debated the quality of cold cuts in Mexico with me. I had already had pizza the day before so I decided a good ol' Whopper and fries would be a great way to end this vacation. I think this was the first time I had eaten at Burger King in probably, oh, about 25 years. And I am NOT exaggerating.
So, we all ate our YUMMY (gag) food and then boarded the plane.
4:45 p.m.
Rob and I were towards the front. Kerith & Brad were in the exit row a little ways back. Mike and Dasha were, unfortunately, at the very back of the plane. We all settled in and I remember CLEARLY that the pilot said it would be a "quick" two hours and 15 minutes back to the big D.
I quickly calculated that I could watch 3 episodes of Friday Night Lights on my computer during this time period and I plugged my headphones in and settled in for the last little bit of peace and quiet that I would have for the foreseeable future.
6:00 p.m.
Rob pulls out my earphone and tells me to shut down my computer. I was only a few minutes into my second FNL episode so I was very confused. He said the pilot had just come on and said that we were going to be landing soon and to put my stuff away. I then noticed that the girl in front of me was flipping out. She was SOBBING and rocking back and forth and the flight attendant quickly came to try to settle her down. It was then that I turned to Rob and asked for some clarification on what the pilot really said. He then further explained that we had some kind of oil leak in one of the plane's engines and they were going to have to shut that engine off and we were going to be making an EMERGENCY landing in El Paso. My heart almost stopped. Everyone around us was watching the girl in front of us as she continued to panic and cry and get increasingly upset.
My first thought was - STUPIDLY - how many engines does this plane have? Logically, I probably already knew the answer to that, but I just needed to clarify. Rob said, "Two." I asked him if he had ever been in this situation since he flies all the time and always seems to have some kind of plane maintenance issue or delayed flight at least every couple of weeks or so. "No," he said. Really talkative, as you can tell.
About that time the pilot came on and said that the engine had been shut down, but not to worry that these planes were meant to fly with one and we should be fine. He also added that there would be fire engines on the ground waiting for us as we landed in El Paso. .. "just in case".
Cut to the girl in front of me who is now about to need to be put in a straightjacket. Seriously. She is throwing up the window cover and looking out (you can't see anything because we are flying in the clouds) and then slamming it down. She is sobbing and doing the rocking back and forth thing. Her husband or boyfriend or significant other is obviously lacking in the ability to give her any support and is basically ignoring her. If that was her boyfriend then she needs to RUN and if it was her husband then she has bigger problems FO SHO!
Rob and I are holding hands and I have a death grip on him. He doesn't seem to mind which makes me even slightly more frantic inside because normally he would be lecturing me on how things were going to be fine. He was abnormally calm and this made me KNOW that he was a tad bit nervous and I had to really reign it in to not go into all out FREAK OUT mode like my friend in front of me.
The pilot said we would be landing in about 20 minutes so there was nothing left to do but stare out the window at the white clouds rushing by and wonder how close we were to the ground and what was going to happen.
I prayed without ceasing asking God to please watch over us as we landed and guide the pilot and let everything be OK. But, my mind also wandered uncontrollably as I prayed.
I kept thinking the following things:
SERIOUSLY - Did I just eat Burger King as my last meal?
Am I really meant to die in a plane crash?
Does Brad Leffler know how to open the emergency exit and he BETTER DARN WELL be reading that seat back pocket information JUST IN CASE.
Why oh why did I eat Burger King as my last meal?
That Capt. Sully landed that plane in WATER with no engines so surely this guy can land on flat ground in El Paso with one engine!
Can someone give the girl in front of us a sedative before she has a heart attack?
I am going to vomit up my Burger King!
And then the yahoo behind us decides to start throwing out his airplane knowledge and starts loud talking about how it is taking longer to land than they said because we are flying over Mexico and dumping our fuel "just in case" we have a hard landing so the plane won't explode. JUST the information that everyone around us wanted to be thinking about so thank you for that, Mr. Know It All.
It was seriously the LONGEST 30 minutes of my life. I hated that we were not closer to our friends so we could talk to each other (really I just wanted to see if anyone else was freaking out and if I had a reason to really panic). We finally came out of those clouds and could see the lights of El Paso so we knew we were getting close to the airport. We could also see that it was raining and/or snowing in El Paso so this added to the anticipation about the landing.
I continued to pray and pray and PRAY that Burger King wasn't my last meal and that God would not make a reason for Brad to be in charge of the emergency exit (not that I don't think he couldn't do it. . .I just didn't want to find out either way). We FINALLY landed and didn't need the fire trucks that were waiting for us. The whole plane burst into applause and we thought this nightmare was finally over.
But here's the thing. . .we were coming from Mexico so this was considered an "international" flight. Most international flights coming into Texas probably land in Dallas or Houston. . .but not El Paso. So, we had a problem. We had to clear customs and there were no customs agents on hand because it was now about 8:00 p.m. on a Sunday night. So, they told us to sit tight while they tried to figure things out.
So, we sat. And we sat. And we sat. And we sat some more. People were frantically trying to call and book rental cars because they were NOT about to get back on another plane after this situation. Others (Rob included) were trying to get through to American and see if we could get booked on another flight to DFW that would still get us back Sunday night. Sounds like a great plan, but to get on another flight they have to actually have to let you off the one you are on and unfortunately, that was not happening anytime soon. We continued to sit.
Someone around us mentioned that there was a new law that they can't keep you on the plane for longer than a certain amount of time or they will be fined and will incur other penalties. So, Rob googled it and found out that they have to give you food and water if you have been sitting there for 2 hours and if they don't then they get fined an astronomical amount per person. So, at one hour and 56 minutes (and I am not even kidding) the flight attendants come through the aisles with granola bars and cups of water.
At this point, people are mad. And not just a little mad, but A LOT mad. We have been sitting there waiting for over two hours with no updates and no one knows how they are getting home. Thank goodness we were only going to Dallas. A ton of people were going on to other places from DFW and it had already dawned on them that they had missed their connections and they would not be getting home that night. No bueno!
Finally, they said another plane was coming and would be arriving around 11:00 and would be taking us back to Dallas. But, we were still waiting on some customs agents to arrive so we could clear customs in El Paso and they could get us off the one engine plane, transfer all of our luggage and get us back on a safe airplane.
They finally got some agents and they took us off the plane and loaded us into a small room with a HUMONGOUS drug sniffing German Shepherd (lest this be not really a maintenance issue but a huge plot by Cabo San Lucas tourists to smuggle drugs back into the good ol' U.S. of A) and had us wait in a long line to talk to the Customs agents. Usually this is a quick process where they look at your passport and ask you a question or two and let you go through, but this obviously wasn't routine for anyone in El Paso so we had to answer a lengthy list of questions about who, what, where, when and why we were in Cabo and have our passport studied and we even saw some people who had to be fingerprinted. They were thorough to say the least!
Then we had to wait for EVERYONE on the plane to go through customs and then they sent out all of our luggage that had been rechecked and we had to get that and then be ushered out in groups of 15-20 through the terminal so we could RECHECK our bag with American and then come back through security to sit at the gate to board our new flight to DFW. Does that sound confusing?? Because it totally was.
But, wait. . .I forgot the KICKER of the whole fiasco. To make up for our pain and suffering and NEAR DEATH experience, American oh so kindly wanted to give us all food vouchers for the El Paso airport. There are about 3 restaurants there and guess what? They were all closed by 10:00 p.m. on a Sunday. But take a wild guess as to which establishment OH SO KINDLY agreed to open back up and give us all $12 vouchers for FREE food???
Any guesses?
Wait for it. . . wait for it. . .
BURGER FREAKING KING.
I am not even kidding.
So, now not only was Burger King not only my LAST meal, but it is going to be the FIRST meal of the rest of my life.
11:30 a.m.
We all pooled our vouchers and bought $60 worth of Burger King food (which is pretty much one of everything on the menu) for a Sunday night FEAST in El Paso.
The fun and togetherness just WILL.NOT.END.
We have now almost crashed, sat on the plane for almost 3 hours, been sniffed by dogs, gotten our luggage only to recheck our luggage 5 minutes later, stuffed ourselves full of BK for the second time in one day, and gone back through security to find out our plane is delayed and we have to wait some more so what are 6 friends to do in this situation? Break out our last $10 and take turns in the NASTY airport chair massagers. We are desperate to stay awake by this point, folks, and have thrown our cares about head lice and cooties to the wind!
1:00 a.m.
Finally, it is time to reboard. Several people had jumped ship and rented cars or found other means of transportation. But that lovely girl in front of me walked back on the plane. . .can you believe it? I actually was feeling unusually comforting so I gave her a shoulder pat and told her that there was NO WAY it could get worse than last time so that should make her feel better. She gave a half laugh and buckled herself in. I prayed that she was sedated.
We took off and headed to DFW. Remember how I said we were landing in the clouds, rain and/or snow earlier? Well, all of that weather had hit El Paso and was heading toward DFW so we flew thew that mess the whole time. And this meant turbulence. A LOT OF TURBULENCE. Enough that the girl in front of me was yelling out, "LORD HELP US!" or "OH DEAR JESUS!" at the top of her lungs. I mean, my nerves were shot and this was about the end of what I could take. She cried and rocked and screamed out the whole way which made for another unnerving leg of the trip.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED TO LAND AND GET OFF A PLANE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
2:30 a.m.
We finally landed at DFW and arrived home.
3:40 a.m.
We arrive home, courtesy of the Lefflers (thank you! sorry for calling you a crippled man in earlier posts)
6:40 a.m.
Welcome back to reality! Alarms go off and it's time to get everyone out the door to school. Our days of relaxation and fun in the sun are long gone, but certainly not forgotten!
Until next year. . . .
**A little side note. . .for our "trouble" we were all given 6,000 frequent flier miles from American. Plus that $12 Burger King voucher. Can't forget that!**
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