Out of the Mouths of Tweens

So, guess what. I officially have two "tweens" living in this house. I only know that because they are now eligible to take the "Tween Fit" exercise class on Wednesday afternoons at the Y for kids ages 9-12.

DEAR LORD.

Tweens. Before I know it they will be teens.

Shoot me now.

I woke up this Monday morning feeling good. I actually got a good night's rest. Rob was in town so that meant I had backup this morning while getting everyone ready for school. Ally & Maddie had actually gotten up to the sound of their alarms instead of me having to wake them.

Things were in my favor.

And then I got a look at Maddie's face. She was sitting in the corner of the couch . . .in her pajamas. . . on her iTouch. . . glaring at me. I MEAN, THE KID WAS GIVING ME THE EVIL STINK EYE. At 6:51 a.m. What could I possibly have done to her at this hour?

"WHY does MIA get a new iTouch for her birthday?" she hissed at me.

Now, let's stop here for a minute. Ally & Maddie have had an iTouch for a couple of years. It is the basic one that they can play games on, listen to music and watch movies on. It does not have a phone or camera. Evidently, it was bought in the "olden" days, according to Maddie. And Mia DID have an iTouch. . .she had my old phone that we wiped clean and then loaded a few songs, games and videos on. It happened to have a camera because it was my old phone. However, we have not seen a glimpse of Mia's iTouch in about 4-5 months. I still hold out hope that it will turn up one day like things tend to do in this house, but I know that realistically it is probably long gone.

We are preparing for a Spring Break road trip and what is the one key thing that kids need these days when they are facing about 16+ hours in the car? Their own personal electronic device and a set of earphones. I KNOW we didn't have that when I was young and kids should be able to do other things. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. My kids need an iTouch. So, Rob told Mia that we would get her her very own iTouch as an early birthday present before our trip so she can have one in the car. This conversation took place days ago. We haven't talked about it since. So, WHY. . .WHY. . . .WHHHHHHHHHHHHHY. . .at 6:51 a.m. on Monday morning does Maddie decide to lay into me about this? I will never know.

"It's not fair!"
"Why does a 6 year old need an iTouch with a camera"
"She LOST hers. . .you would NEVER let us get a new one if we lost ours!"

These are only snippets of the WHINES and CRIES and GRIPES I was getting this morning all before 7:00 a.m.

I even pointed out to Maddie that she has her very own NIKON camera with which to take pictures PLUS an iTouch. And she's 9! NINE! N-I-N-E! She was still mad.

I finally couldn't take it anymore so I took her iTouch away and told her she lost it for the rest of the day. She continued to argue and mouth me. Then I told her she lost the privilege of playing outside after school today. Didn't phase her. She continued to mouth me even more.

I finally got everyone in the car and Maddie is wailing like a monkey at this point. We had to pick up our poor little neighbor to carpool for school and I am sure he was THRILLED to get into our car. I rolled the windows down and told her I was going to drive thru the neighborhood like that so all of her cool 4th and 5th grade older friends could hear how she really acts.

I thought for sure that would work.

It didn't. She screamed louder.

And then she finally found her words and this is what she yelled at me:

"I KNOW I HAVE TO BE ADOPTED BECAUSE YOU WOULD NEVER TREAT ONE OF YOUR OWN KIDS THIS WAY!!!!!!"

Our poor neighbor's eyes were as big as saucers. He was alarmed. Could there really be a scandal on his very street where a 3rd grader was just now finding out she was adopted? Oh, the horrors!

I assured her that she and her TWIN SISTER were both in there at the same time and had come straight from me WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Instead of feeling relief, she then screamed:

"WELL, I WANT TO BE SENT TO BOARDING SCHOOL SO I CAN HAVE A NEW SET OF PARENTS AND NEW FRIENDS!"

"Oh yeah, sister?" I said, "Well, I will do some research on boarding schools today and will present you with some information to review while your sitting yourself in your room all afternoon while the whole rest of the neighborhood plays outside. AND GUESS WHAT. . .YOU'RE SKIPPING YOUR BROWNIE MEETING TONIGHT, TOO!"

She was irate and we are now pulling up in front of the school.

I had the urge to pull my sweet neighbor boy into a hug and tell him I loved him and to have a good day at school because I am fairly certain he has never witnessed such TWEEN ANGST and CRAZINESS in his calm household and I was afraid this was going to affect his whole day.

She hissed at me as she got out that she WOULD NOT be coming back to our house after school and not to wait on her. I told her if she didn't want to be in the biggest trouble OF HER LIFE then she better walk to the corner where we meet every day and meet me.

All of this by 7:40 a.m.

HONESTLY! WHAT IN THE WORLD?

I just don't have a clue what sets that kid off. And she was happy as can be as she came skipping down to the car after school!

Of course, I still made her go to her room, but she was pretty accepting of her consequence for once in her life. But then Rob got the bright idea that she should have to do some serious chores to earn her way back to the Brownie meeting and the whole afternoon just headed south.

For once in my life, my house was fairly straight. I hosted another baby shower here yesterday afternoon and hadn't been home all day so things had remained pretty clean. I had some of my china silverware that needed to be put away in the bottom of my china cabinet so I asked her to put away about 12 spoons and forks. And she fell apart. . .she absolutely LOST it. She even accused me of treating her like a SLAVE! For putting away 12 forks. This girl is so clueless.

I then made her sort laundry. Not put the laundry in the washer or transfer it to the dryer or fold it or HEAVEN FORBID put it away. I asked her to help me to divide it into piles. OH THE HORROR. It was just too much for her.

After that task, I decided we should vacuum out the car. She actually did a little better on that. I didn't really feel like she had done enough to earn back the right to go to Brownies, yet, though. I tried to think of one more really intense chore that would really get her.

And then the perfect thing popped in my head!

There was dog poop everywhere in our side yard and it probably hasn't been picked up in 6 months (or since the last time the mowers were here). She tried to get a shovel, but I could tell that would take hours and she doesn't have the best fine motor skills so I was envisioning having it accidentally (or not) dumped on me. So, I did what I see EVERY OTHER pet owner in this neighborhood do. I got her a Target bag for her hand and told her to start picking it up. I even offered to hold the trash bag for her.

Guess what, people? She MIGHT (key word: MIGHT) have learned something today because she actually kept her mouth shut and just did it. It took forever and there was probably 1/3 of a large trashbag full weighing over 5 pounds. But, I finally felt like she did something out of her comfort zone and that I asked her to do without complaining so we told her she had earned her Brownie meeting back.

And she has been happy as a clam for the rest of the night.
We'll see how things are in the morning. . .fingers crossed.
You would think this would be all I have to deal with in one day, but think again. I went to take the girls to Brownies and had to run various things by to various houses in our neighborhood - a leash back to the Lefflers, a birthday invitation for one of Mia's friends, something Jenny left at my house. Rob was supposed to have gotten Will & Mia bathed and ready for bed while I was gone.

As I walked into the house, I could hear Rob talking sternly to Will and telling him to, "GO SHOW YOUR MOM WHAT YOU DID"

Will was crying hysterically and screaming "NO!"

Rob sounded really mad and kept telling him to come find me. I was changing laundry over and waiting for him to come in and show me whatever it was he had done, but he never came. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I had to go find out.

He had on pajama pants and no shirt and was crossing his arms strangely over his stomach. My imagination was running wild with what he could have done to make Rob so mad. But then I caught a glimpse of Rob and while he was "yelling" at him he also had his hand over his mouth and was concealing a smile.

Huge crocodile tears are rolling out of Will's eyes as Rob continues to tell him to show me.

I finally catch a glimpse of red and pry his hand apart and off of his stomach to find that the child has painted his fingernails OPI Red. Only on one hand. And then some of it has smeared across his stomach. But he also ruined his shirt and also spilled some on the floor. . .thankfully on the tile and not the rug. I told him he had to come back into the bathroom so I could clean it all off. It was mildly funny yet also mildly alarming, although not surprising in this house full of girls.

As we walked into the bathroom to get the polish remover, I happen to glance down and realize it looks like the floor of Sports Clips on my bathroom tile. . .with hair clippings everywhere. . .as in SOMEONE HAS GOTTEN A HAIRCUT IN MY BATHROOM.

Do you know what I freak I am about my kid's hair? I am very particular. We think our haircuts through and put a lot of thought into styles.

Mia is in the shower as I am discovering all of this and I plead with her to tell me that she didn't cut her own hair. Been there, done that. She is smarter than that at the ripe old age of 6 1/2. So, I turn to my OPI Red wearing son and guess what. . .there is a huge chunk of hair gone right in the front of his hair.

I know most people can tell a similar story and commiserate with me. It doesn't make me feel better. WHY? WHY? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY would my kid cut his own hair and paint his nails red? And more importantly, WHERE WAS HIS FATHER WHILE ALL OF THIS WAS GOING ON and I was carpooling kids and being a good neighbor? That's right. . .watching TV. And not even GOOD tv. He was watching The Disney Channel.

I couldn't stop myself. I had to yell at my son. I told him we will be going to Sports Clips tomorrow and I will have them cut off all of his hair to make it match the patch that he cut. He was beside himself. It really doesn't look that bad and I can probably comb some over to make it less noticeable but I want to put the FEAR OF MOMMY into that kid so he will never do this again.

I can't wait until the preschool teachers ask me why his cuticles are red and it looks like his nails were painted. I am going to tell them he got into a very manly fist fight with lots of blood with the neighborhood bully and I just couldn't get it all to wash off. I am sure they will believe me. Insert eye roll here.

S Words

I am so proud. My kid can write. I am sure your kid can write sentences at age 5, but this is my 4th kid and I can count on one hand the number of times we have worked on his writing. At this point in my life, I have to leave that educating up to the preschool teachers. And evidently, they are doing a good job because he came home with these two lists of S words the other day. Thankfully THE "S" word isn't on here so that is even better. And I know that sometimes the S's are backwards, but I think that is pretty normal at this age and considering his mom provides no direction in this area.

Way to go, Will!

Soup
Socks
Show
So
Snake
Saw
Silly
I have no idea
Sailboat
Sun

Strawberries
Scarf
Soup
Things go a little haywire for a few lines
Stocking

My Valentine's Day Gift

For the last few years, Rob is ALWAYS out of town on Valentine's Day. Not that it really matters because we never do anything to celebrate, really, but still . . . . it's just kind of an unwritten rule that you might like your spouse around on a romantic holiday.

This year, I was SO surprised to find out that he went above and beyond and planned a fun night out for us with the Peters and Lefflers as a kind of Cabo reunion. He knows that I love Lady Antebellum so he decided to put aside his hatred of country music and spare no cost to get tickets for all of us to sit on the floor for the concert. He then found a sitter and made dinner reservations and presented this great gift to me along with a love poem that he wrote himself and recited to me by memory as we drank a super expensive bottle of wine and ate bon bons.

At what point did you stop believing that story and think you were in the Twilight Zone?

The correct answer would be at the very beginning.

This is more like how it REALLY went.

Me: ROB! Lady Antebellum is coming in February and it's near Valentine's Day so I think you should take me.

Rob: I'm out of town.

Me: How can you say that when you don't even know the date?

Rob: I'm still out of town.

Me: But I love Lady Antebellum's music.

Rob: She sounds horrible.

Big HUGE sigh. Lady Antebellum is a group. One girl and two guys. Just in case you didn't know because evidently a lot of people don't.

Luckily for me, the Lefflers and Peters were more keen on the idea because those Peters do love a good concert and night out and the Lefflers are game to join in just because they are fun.

What is YOUR excuse, ROB?

So, basically, I pulled the trigger on those concert tickets without telling him. In fact, I had to wait for the perfect opportunity to spring it on him or I knew this could be bad. . .very bad.

This is where the story takes a very dark turn. And this is very dicey to write about because I realize I could come off insensitive and that is TOTALLY NOT THE CASE, but I have heard Mike speak these very words so I am going to go out on a limb and hope the he won't mind me mentioning what it took to get Rob to this concert.

We had to play the cancer card.

Because, Mike (or MFP - Mike Freakin' Peters) recently found out that he has a recurrence of melanoma and will be starting chemo soon. AND WE ARE GOING TO SUPPORT OUR FRIENDS AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HAVE A FUN NIGHT OUT AND TAKE THEIR MIND OFF OF MORE SERIOUS SUBJECTS, ROB AMEZCUA!

Needless to say, that worked.

So, a few days after Valentine's Day, we headed out for a fun dinner down in the Uptown area and then to the concert.

Three lovely ladies ready for a night out. And yes, I am wearing a white leather jacket. It is Carley's and I have always wanted to borrow it. I did and was feeling good until Rob asked me if I was trying to go as Michael Jackson. Got things off to a good start. As always.

So, this is me at dinner after finding out on facebook that my nephew was vomiting. When we left Frisco, I was under the impression that Maddie was spending the night at their house and I immediately let my mind go to the worst case scenario situation of a stomach bug taking down our whole house as my payback for making Rob go to this concert. Thankfully, she didn't end up going over there and was with my mother-in-law so the disaster was averted.

We headed to the concert and we were late, of course. The opening act had already finished and Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish was already into his set. As they scanned us for weapons and glanced in our purses, I was told that my camera was "too big" to take in and I would either have to take it back to the car or check it. Well, it was a monsoon outside and Rob had dropped us off and then gone to park with Mike. And I was not interested in checking my nice camera since it had pictures from Will's 5th birthday the day before that I had not downloaded. We tried to reason with the bag checkers. They said my camera would be taken if someone saw that lense extended on the floor. I told them that OBVIOUSLY I would not use it then since I didn't want it to be taken. I said I would leave it in my purse and just use my phone. They weren't budging. They said it was the "artist's choice". REALLY? They won one stinking Grammy the week before this show and now they had to get all big time and say "no cameras"? They have been around for about 18 months. They should take a lesson from New Kids on the Block who have been around for 20+ years and don't give a rip what camera you bring in and therefore get all kinds of publicity from people like me who blog about them and put it on facebook, etc. I was SO mad. While I was pleading my case to the bag checker, Brad quietly walked up and grabbed my LARGE purse WITH THE CAMERA IN IT and quickly walked off. I saw what he did and hoped that maybe they would look the other way. The lady and I continued our animated "conversation" (I was REALLY mad by this point) and then all of a sudden she realized my purse was gone. She was NOT amused. She wanted to know where it was and I told her I had no idea. She immediately knew Brad had taken it so she asked me where our seats were so she could send security down to get it back. Well, Brad also had my ticket and I had no idea where we were sitting so I had to stand there looking like an idiot while they looked for him. He eventually came walking back, but WITHOUT my purse (which I think he had given to Kerith and instructed her to go in the bathroom and hide). The lady was even more NOT AMUSED at this point and commanded him to go get it back. By this point, we had missed half the dang concert so I finally agreed to just check my camera and Brad OH SO POLITELY informed them that we would be suing them if my camera was lost or the pictures of Will's birthday weren't still on there.

So, at this point I am in a LOVELY mood. Rob and Mike finally arrived from parking the car and we headed to our seats. And of course there were people sitting in our seats so we moved them out of the way and settled in. We caught maybe 1-2 sets from Hootie.

Trying to be in a good mood

Fun, fun, fun!

Brad, of course, is having fun no matter what.

Oh dear. Rob is very somber and I am thinking this is not going to be a good night. I had played him every Lady Antebellum song I had in my iTunes and he claimed not to know a single one. Which is BULL because a couple of them are songs you just have to have heard recently unless you live under a rock.

But all of a sudden, they started trying to get the crowd hyped up and ready for the concert. And look what happened next:

What does this look like? If you said the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video choreography you would be correct!

That's right. . .see it. . .believe it. Rob is getting DOWN and doing the THRILLER moves. He truly can be fun. It's just not an everyday occurrence.

Now he is REALLY getting going. He broke out the sprinkler moves. . .the shopping cart moves. All of his typical dance moves,

Mark this. . .he is having fun. At a country concert.

This is the quality of picture that I got with my dumb iPhone camera. SO IRRITATING when my perfectly good Nikon paparazzi camera is sitting with a guard watching over it upstairs.

Poor, poor quality picture

Thankfully, Kerith had a smaller camera that they DID allow in so we got some decent shots.

Hootie came out at the end to sing with Lady Antebellum. The concert overall was just "eh" for all of us. The camera situation definitely put a damper on MY evening, but the concert itself was just blah. They sing some good songs, but there wasn't a lot of energy. They just kind of went thru the motions and there was no "wow" factor. Considering my last two concerts were NKOTBSB and Keith Urban. . .all excellent performers, I guess I should have expected a let down. Mark your calendars now for late October when hopefully I will have a GREAT blog coming on the concert of all concerts. What might that be, you might ask?

Wait for it. . . .

MADONNA! I am going with a group of neighbors/friends and we have great seats and I am PUMPED. It is going to be a night to remember for sure. And you can bet I will be reading the fine print on cameras on that ticket!!

Sniff. . .Tears. . .SOB!

I KNOW I sound like a broken record. I KNOW it, OK? But, seriously, where oh where has the time gone?? My baby is 5 years old. FIVE. As in, half a decade. As in, starting kindergarten in the fall. As in, he could lose a tooth now and I wouldn't have a panic attack about there being an empty space there for 3+ years (sadly, this has been an ongoing concern since he was 2 and almost busted all his front teeth out).

So, let's take a leap back in time and re-live this.

It was Valentine's Day 2007. It was a Wednesday. I was about 34 weeks pregnant so I had 4-5 weeks to go and had my c-section scheduled. I was CERTAIN I was going to make it to my planned date this time. I decided to be nice to Rob and drive around to various restaurants and get his favorite foods and try to make up for his home life situation for the previous 7 months (3 kids age 3 and under and a wife who is not good at being pregnant).

I remember it was rush hour when I set out because I had to wait for Rob to get home to watch the girls so I could pull off this plan and it ended up taking about two hours. I know I went to Cheesecake Factory at the mall and to Campisi's. We don't even particularly like either of those restaurants so I am not sure why I made the trip to those two.

We put the kids to bed and ate a lovely dinner, I am sure. And then we went to bed because Rob was scheduled to fly out to Arkansas the next morning. I remember waking up about 3:00 a.m. and being in severe pain. Being someone who had never experienced labor pains before, I was not sure what was going on. I had these pains off and on for the rest of the night. Rob must not have thought they were serious because he got up and caught his flight to Arkansas that Thursday morning.

I called my mom to come and help me because I was pretty sure something was NOT RIGHT by this point. She helped me get the girls ready for preschool and we went by the church and dropped them off and then I drove myself to Plano Presby where I was admitted and lo and behold, I was having contractions and everyone was alarmed because it was really early. They had me call Rob and tell him he needed to come home. I labored on and of from 9:30 - 1:00 ish when Rob was finally able to get on a plane to head back. And then you know what happened as soon as he was on that flight? My contractions stopped and they unhooked me and sent me packin'. I kid you not. So, my mom and I headed back to the church in time to pick the girls up at school at 2:00 and then we headed home. Rob was THRILLED - THRILLED, I TELL YA - when he got off that plane and discovered I was home.

I spent the rest of Thursday resting and all seemed well.

I had a doctor's appointment on Friday and he checked me and said all seemed well and it could be weeks before the baby came and not to worry. I rested again on Friday and Jenny came over to help Rob with the kids. They decided to go to Gattitown for dinner. While they were at Gattitown, I started feeling not so right again. By the time they got back, I knew we needed to head back to the hospital. We got there and sure enough. . .more contractions. We also then got the call from Jenny that one of the girls was throwing up. Because we are the Amezcuas and a little labor of a 4th child is not going to stop a stomach bug from invading our house!! I had contractions on and off all Friday night and guess who else started feeling bad? Rob! Stomach bug hit him while we were in the hospital and he curled up in a ball on the horribly uncomfortable couch and they gave him anti-nausea medicine all night long. By morning, they had stopped the contractions again and sent me home.

It is now SATURDAY, people.

Now everyone was vomiting so I was sent upstairs to the media room couch. My mom and Jenny took turns helping Rob and the girls who were all vomiting downstairs. About mid-way thru the day I started feeling BAD again. They weren't sure if I now had the stomach bug or if I was having contractions again so they told me to time things and just rest.

I have never been in so much pain in my entire life.

I took it as long as I could and until I was fairly certain that I was going to give birth on that couch and then I told Rob that he had to find a way to summon some strength and drive me back to Plano Presby for the third time in 3-4 days. Those were some fun times, let me tell ya!

When we got back and were admitted yet again, they discovered that I as dilated to almost an 8. I was feeling very justified that I thought I might give birth on our couch because I really almost did. I had c-sections previously so they had to rush me into surgery quickly. Everyone was very nervous because the baby was about to be born at 34 weeks and a few days and that can typically mean that their lungs aren't fully developed or that he would need to spend time in the NICU.

But, our "little" Will came out at 6 lbs. 5 oz. and he was completely fine! No time in the NICU and no problems at all. We were beyond thrilled to finally have our little boy!

Our house officially grew by "two feet"

I'll say what you are thinking. . .I have not aged well in these last five years. I look OLD these days compared to this pic.

Keep in mind, Rob had a rough few days leading up to this. Shaving was at the bottom of his list.

Mia was THRILLED to have a baby brother.

A few weeks old. . .

A few months old. . .

ONE!

TWO!

And just like that. . .he is FIVE!

We got him some gifts, but all he wanted to do was karate chop the styrofoam that came in one of the boxes.

For his actual birthday, we met the in-laws at the mall and had lunch in the food court and rode the carousel. They took him to pick out a Nintendo DS and some games and I took him to the Lego store. He had a lot of fun.

He couldn't WAIT for soccer practice, though. We always go out with various people on the team after practice and tonight he wanted to go to Babe's and invite EVERYONE. I went early and put our name on the list and the timing worked out perfectly. The minute they walked up from practice, they were calling us to be seated. It was a birthday miracle!

We brought Captain America and football cupcakes. This picture was taken right as all of the waitresses walked over and he realized they were about to sing to him.

He stood up on his chair, but he was having NO PART of the chicken hat and beak that they wanted him to wear.

Look at that. . .big sister took one for the team and put the chicken hat and beak on for him.

All of the 9 year olds thought this was HILARIOUS.

Ronan was chowing down on a chicken leg in one hand and a cupcake in the other.

The parents were all thrilled with my icing choices, I am sure.

Doing the Hokey Pokey before we head out. What a great evening with good friends!

Happy 5th Birthday!

We love this little boy more than words can say. He is kind, loving and smart! I can't believe I have less than 6 months with my little buddy with me every day.

The sweet baboo. . .we need to work on getting rid of this thing. Or at least leaving it in his bed rather than walking around with it all day like Linus. We also need to stop the thumb sucking. I am going to add that of my list of things to do. Wish me luck!

She's About to Pop!

Carley and I hosted a baby shower for Alison last weekend. Everyone used to think that I was the crazy one for having four kids and now THREE of us in our little group are going to have four kiddos. Craziness!

I wish I could tell the real story about how all of this came about but it might be sharing too much about their lives so I will not. Let's just say WOW. . .you might not want to drink the water around Alison or Daphne!

I heard about this shower idea after seeing a post my sister-in-law, Erica, made about one she hosted for her sister. We then turned to Pinterest to turn the theme into a "boy-ish" one. The theme was "She's About to Pop" and all of the food, etc., had POP in the name.

Soda Pop

Pepperoni Pesto Popovers. MAN - these things were awesome! I got them straight off the Pillsbury website so I cannot take credit for them. I even went out an bought the popover pans if anyone needs to use them for anything. I ended up making more at the last minute and I am glad I did because every last one of them got eaten!

Poppyseed salad. . .Carley even made her own dressing. It was very yummy!

Zebra popcorn . . .AMAZING!

Fruit Pops!

A tower of Oreo and Vanilla cake pops

We had a candy bar and everyone took some home as a favor. . .it was full of ring pops, pop rocks, bubblegum and many other baby themed candies. It was a big hit and people loved taking it home to their kids.

Alison got a lot of cute things for baby Seth! We can't wait to meet him in early March.